The Early Origins of Problem Workforce Communication

My goal in this blog is to promote effective messaging. This is the first post in a series about transforming the way we use messaging within organizations in order to transform business culture and business results. Please read on and enjoy!

We were all about this little guy's age when we figured out this monumental truth:

I can't do it by myself.  To transform my big ideas into reality, I need the help of others.  And to get that help, I need to pack my ideas into these strange packages called words, and ship them out into the world.

In the world of a toddler, success hinges on getting other people to meet your needs. You have to communicate.

In the world of business, success hinges on getting, and keeping, whole groups of people in sync to meet the needs of the business. We have to super-communicate.  This involves:

• explaining concepts;
• expressing goals;
• training processes;
• establishing expectations;
• evaluating progress;
• providing feedback.

All told, an extraordinary bandwidth of information needs to be exchanged and received in order to work together.  But this information exchange does not come easily to us. 

In fact, the problems of communication on the job start when we are in the nursery.    

Early Biases, And Their Effects On Everyday Business

Brain scan studies have confirmed that as early as 5 months, infants are observing the speech of others with their prefrontal cortex fully engaged.  That means that before we can sit up by ourselves, and months before we articulate our first word, we are already mentally rehearsing the dynamics of communicating. Awesome, isn't it?  

By the time we are two years old -- the age of the child in the picture above -- we are ready to give our first verbal messages to the world.  And each of us has the same two messages to tell.

Our two first messages set the tone for all our messaging to come -- and that tone is most certainly NOT one of cooperation and respect.  

Want to guess what those first two messages are?

Think.  What are the two words that all toddlers fall in love with first? 

Parents, you probably got them right away:  "No"  and "Mine."   Remember when your precious little one discovered these?  

Think about these messages and what they mean. 

• The first one, No,  is an outraged protest against anything that doesn't fit our immediately-perceived best outcome. 
• The second, Mine,  is a territorial declaration that erects a verbal barrier to retain personal advantage.  

Please understand, as boundary-setting tools, these are necessary and healthy concepts for a growing child to put into play.  But as platforms for exchanging ideas, they aren't exactly award-winners. They are arbitrary, one-way messages, used for projecting power and quelling dissent.  And that's where we start to see a fatal limitation.

We basically carry this "No/Mine" communications bias throughout life.  Most of our natural messaging tends to fall into these two categories.  In fact, if left to ourselves, each of us would only default to alternatively communicating outrage ("No")  and defensiveness ("Mine") for the rest of our lives.  

But we are not left to ourselves. Life happens.  We undergo a rigorous socialization process, in our family, at school, and among our peers.  Then we leave this childhood and adolescent socializing experience, however good or bad that may have been, and we enter the workplace. 

Now, for the first time, communication equates to income -- or to put it in toddler terms, our "No" will have a direct impact on our "Mine."  We have to message as though our lives depended on it -- for certainly our livelihoods now do.  

By this point, we've acquired some further skills for communicating. Most of them, though,  still revolve around our first two favorite words.  

We've learned a spectrum of more sophisticated ways to say our "No" to get our own way.  We now know how to charm, cajole, persuade, manipulate,  ingratiate, appease,argue, accuse, lie, sneer, scoff, and shame.   

We use the same set of skills to create more elegant versions of how to say our "Mine" to keep our advantage, once attained.  We can add that we also now know how to avoid, divert, stonewall, threaten, attack, and when all else fails, sue.   

As you may have already surmised, the skills based on our "No/Mine" bias are not the best tools for achieving cooperation, respect, and results in the business world.

Grow And Tell

To corral our inner two-year-olds and get them to work together, we need to fundamentally alter our early "No/Mine" assumptions. We have to make room for someone else.  We must realize two truths: 

1. Getting my own immediately-perceived best outcome may not be in my ultimate long-term best interest.  In other words, my "No" might need to become "Yes" -- at least for a while. I may have to do some things I don't want to do (hard work that someone else assigns me) in order to get the job done and get my reward (a paycheck that someone else pays me).  This is called delayed gratification.  And in operational messaging, it translates into taking direction.
2. Preserving my own advantage may equate to meeting the needs of the group.  Or to put it in toddler-speak, my "Mine" might need to become "Share" -- at least for a while. I may need to allow undesirable elements (boss, co-workers, tasks, projects) to infiltrate my territory (my time, my attention, my choices) in order to retain my advantage (economic stability, status, material goods).  In operational messaging, this called establishing buy-in. 

We can see that much of what happens on the job is counter-intuitive to our earliest motivations.  If you're looking for the main insight of this post, that's it.  I said all that to say this: 

The dynamics of effective on-the-job communication involve the intentional undoing of basic human biases that have deep, deep roots.

What do you think?  Do you agree with that statement?

If you do, then you are beginning to realize that workforce messaging requires strategy, delicacy, and artistry that goes way beyond what we use in everyday life. We don't just tell people what to do and expect them to do it.  To get our best results, we need to work much harder than that. We need to super-communicate:

We need construct a message that gives the other person the tools they need to de-construct their own inherent resistance and re-construct a collaborative platform.  And we have to do this with every message, every time.

Challenging?  You bet.

Actually, with this post,  I am trying to do some intentional undoing of my own.  Dear reader, I am trying to undo your own deep "No/Mine" underpinnings.  

My goal is in this blog is to promote effective workforce messaging.  And to do that, I need to get you to reframe how you look at your own job environment.  The first step is to get ahead of your own inner two-year-old to identify the fact that your own basic wants and defenses are usually the very things that subconsciously make you resist the work required for effective workforce messaging.

Evaluating Your Own "No/Mine" Mindset

Is your two-year-old self calling your communications shots?  Take this test. Give a ranking between 0 and 5  to each of the following statements (0 equals Never, 5 equals Always):

1. My interactions with people at work are dominated by conflicts.

2. I carry grudges against one or more coworkers.

3. I have not submitted a new idea for process improvement within the past year.

4. I just want to be left alone to do my job.

5.  My baseline mood at work is one of annoyance.

6. I have to play the boss card to force people to cooperate.

7. I know other people are after my job and/or are trying to make me look bad.

8.  I have favorites among my team, and they know who they are.

9.  I refuse to put up with incompetence; I won't tolerate bozos, and I work to get them fired.

10. I came up short in the last round of raises (or bonuses, or promotions, etc.), so now my attitude is, why put in the extra effort?

If any of these statements are 5's by your estimation, then you may be carrying a toddler mindset into work every day.  You may need to take some steps to develop new super-communicating skills that will truly get your best outcomes and preserve your deepest advantages.

But how do you do that?

The answer, in my opinion, is a little thing I invented called Compassionate Communicating.  It involves escaping beyond our own "No/Mine" bias to give your co-workers and colleagues a higher quality of messaging.  It means modeling a "Yes/Share" open communications model.   It's all about turning each person's inner toddler into a willing teammate.  

Compassionate Communicating is a way to come together to form passionate  bonds that turn work relationships into trust relationships -- and transform resistance into results. 

If you are interested in this concept, browse through my earlier blog entries to get a feel for my approach. Then, watch for my next post.  In it, I will describe the role and responsibilities of a Compassionate Communicator -- and the advantages of becoming one.

Meanwhile, if you have some insight to add - especially if it's a Yes or a Share --  please leave a comment!

The Other Two Emails That Will Save Your Sanity

The purpose of this Remarkable Messaging blog is to help average people overcome communications barriers.  Since all of life that isn't isolation requires communication, that leaves a pretty broad spectrum of topics to explore.  This post continues to address common workplace communication deficits. 

Work is hard.  That's why it's called work. But the plague of poor communication makes it harder than it needs to be.  

In my previous post, I introduced the first of my three emails to combat fuzzy communication.  I called it the Just To Confirm email. This email seeks to nail down aspects of what's already been communicated,  (To read more about it, click here.)  


By contrast, my second sanity-saving email seeks to fill in aspects that are missing. 

The pace of the workday is increasingly frantic.  The hours in the workday whiz by like the cars of a speeding commuter train. To save time, people shorten their messages.  They clip meetings short,  send terse emails, and use sloppy language. The result?   Depending on your company's culture, the average workday might be full of situations where key facts are unstated, and more explanation is needed. A lot of us must then spend a good amount of our day running behind the train, trying to fill in the blanks in others' messaging in order to get our own work done. 

Sound familiar?  

When people must engage in puzzling and problem-solving just to figure out what is expected of them, it's a triple-whammy.

• Productivity suffers.  Time is spent on buzz instead of business:  "Did the boss mean x or y?"  Frustration distorts a process that should be simple. Worry and indecision infiltrate the work stream, weighing down subsequent progress.  
• Relationship suffers.  As I declared in my previous post about Email #1: uncertainty feels like abuse.   Every business has a hierarchy, and withholding information (even by accident) tends to be interpreted as a political power move. The energy wasted on office intrigue is substantial, and subversive to success.  When this negative energy infects a project, it takes center stage, and people are so busy taking sides that they lose sight of the true objective.
• Wrong assumptions are made.  This is the worst risk of all, since ambiguities can lead to assumptions that spur work in the wrong direction, wasting time, wreaking havoc, and requiring costly rework later on.  

The risks posed by missing information are significant.  So the smart thing to do is to get ahead of these risks, before they becomes a problem.  How?  Remember my motto from my previous post:  the cure for fuzzy communication is focused communication.  So get ready to communicate your confusion in a friendly and focused way that brings results. 

The first step is to identify the gaps in the story that need to be filled in.  Sometimes that's a skill in itself!  (See my next blog post to learn about my favorite strategy for this.)

 After you have determined exactly what information you need, identify who has the information, and craft a direct and respectful message to obtain it.

Email # 2: Just To Clarify

A Just To Clarify email is the message you'll send when you determine that a strategic knowledge gap exists. Like for Email # 1, the objective is better understanding. 

The Magic of Email # 2

Before we talk about the email itself, let's begin with explaining the phrase we use to begin it.  
When an email starts with the words "Just to clarify..." the reader will immediately know that strategic information is being sought.  Also, and even more importantly, the phrase "Just to clarify..." establishes a breezy tone of collaboration, as opposed to a brittle tone of accusation.  In the blame-rich atmosphere of most workplaces, setting this positive tone is vital for maintaining equilibrium and efficiency... and for getting a response. I cannot stress this enough.  The fact is, many people read their emails looking for reasons to put off answering them.  Never let your tone provide a convenient excuse for a non-response.

When you start with "Just to clarify...", you front-load your email for success. It creates the impression that you value what was said already, and are seeking to build on its value.  So don't play around with that starting phrase.  Always use it; you'll get optimal results, every time.

After those first three magic words, keep the rest of this email simple.  

• State the topic right away. 
• If not clear, include a reason why you need this information
• Keep questions short, focused, and direct. 
• Include a deadline if there is one. 
• Don't introduce other topics, argue other points, or overwhelm the reader with any other messages (send those in a separate email).  Just request your info and bow out.  

Here's a template to follow:

Sample Just To Clarify Email

Hi Peter, [breezy salutation that sets an informal tone]

Just to clarify re: the recent pigpen repairs:  [header sentence that defines the topic and sets expectations]

I'm preparing a report for the Budget Committee and I need to know: [reason the info is needed]

•  What is the invoice amount? [main question]
•  Is the payment coming out of  cost center 123?.[main question]
• If not, what cost center will be used?.[contingency question]

Hoping to hear from you by end of day so I can send my report in time for tomorrow's meeting.  [deadline]

Thanks for your help as we work to provide the information the committee needs to close the books in time for the quarterly call,  [closing sentence that includes a shared objective]

Priscilla 

After you've composed your Just to Clarify email following this framework, simply press Send and wait.  You have a very high likelihood of getting an answer by your deadline.

But what if the answer doesn't come?  No problem!  For that situation, you have my final email that will save your sanity:

Email # 3:  Just Circling Back

You send a Just Circling Back email  when you don't get a response by the deadline you specified in Email #1 or #2.  It is a follow-up to your prior request for information.  Its purpose is to keep your first email request from getting lost.  To build this email, you add it as another message when you forward the first email to the recipient again.  

The Just Circling Back email always follows the same brief but strategic format:

Sample Just Circling Back Email

Hi Peter, [breezy salutation that sets an informal tone]

Just circling back to see if you've had a chance to look into my budget questions about the recent pigpen repairs (see forwarded email below). [header sentence that defines the topic and sets expectations]

Would you be able to provide this info by 11:00 this morning? [deadline phrased as a question]

If not, I'll need to send my report without it.  I'll let the committee know that this info is still to be determined.  [closing sentence that includes a logical consequence]

Thanks again for your help,  Priscilla

The Magic of Email # 3

Just like the other two emails that save your sanity, Email # 3 is crafted very intentionally.  

• It leads off with a very intentional phrase to set the right tone.  When an email starts with the words "Just circling back..." the reader will immediately know that it's a follow-up communication.  But obce more, there's a non-accusatory tone of collaboration. Judgment is entirely absent. Equilibrium is maintained. The recipient only has to give the info.  No explanation for the delay is required.  Can you see how this lightens the mood from the start?
• Likewise, when the deadline is restated in the form of a question, it gives the recipient a feeling of respect and empowerment, instead of guilt and embarrassment.  There is no snarky subtext about dropping the ball, holding up the project, etc.  It's just a simple, hey, can you get this to me in time?
•  Finally, the Just Circling Back email contains a logical consequence for non-compliance. This is not a threat meant to frighten, or a manipulation meant to shame the person into action. It's just a simple neutral statement about what will need to happen if the information is not obtained by the deadline. The objective is plainly to keep pushing the project forward -- not to start a war.  

The Just Circling Back email will help you gently help others accept responsibility for their contributions (or lack of contributions), as you maintain an appreciative and constructive tone.    It frames the issue in a positive way.  And in my experience,  it usually elicits the same kind of response.  You'll get your missing information, and the other person will continue to feel respected and valued.  

Win-win.  

Sanity Saved. Problems Prevented. Integrity Intact.

So to sum up: the Three Emails are your arsenal against the ambiguity of fuzzy messaging.  One of them will usually be the answer for any communications shortfall that you experience.  And all three will do much more than merely help you get the information you need to succeed.  They will help you continue to build positive relationships among your colleagues, even when you need to hold them accountable for their fast, furious and fuzzy communications.  The Three Emails position you for optimal collaboration by helping you avoid the blame game, keep projects politics-neutral, and underscore your positive intent to ensure success for everyone concerned.

Moreover, when you use them as part of an overall communications plan, the Three Emails will help build your reputation for excellence throughout your department, division, organization, and industry.  I know that's a pretty big claim.  How can I make it?  Because I diligently use them -- and that's exactly the reputation that I have with all my professional relationships, past and present. Just saying!  

Are any fuzzy communication issues lurking in your current project portfolio?  I challenge you to use the Three Emails on exactly those issues during your upcoming week.  See if they help you "Just to Confirm" and/or "Clarify" the knowledge gaps that threaten to torpedo your To Do list.  And, when you reap the results of your focused messaging, I suggest that you "Just Circle Back" and leave a comment below to share your success!    

The Three Emails That Will Save Your Sanity: Here's Email # 1

Note: This is a follow-up to an earlier post, Diagnosing the Various Strains of Business Flu.  To read that post first, click here.  

"My new job is nonstop craziness!"

Elaine's* an intelligent,  level-headed, and accomplished professional.  It's been years since we were employed at the same company, but we keep in touch and meet up occasionally to trade stories about our latest workplace experiences.  

This time, Elaine had a desperate look in her eyes.  She was struggling at the small firm where she now worked.   What had looked so promising at first was now sheer pressure.  The executive team had the habit of dropping new assignments in her lap unexpectedly, and her workload was constantly expanding.  When her boss signed her up to attend meetings, she was often unsure why she was there. Goals and priorities were always shifting.  Rapid-fire verbal exchanges left her breathless and intimidated.  She had no idea what success was supposed to look like, or how she was supposed to get there.

What's the main cause of workplace misery?  

If I had to boil it down to one thing only, it would be: uncertainty.  

Think about it.  When the rules are constantly in flux -- when you're not sure about where you stand, or what's expected of you  -- it's pretty hard to focus on the task at hand. Instead of forging ahead confidently, you spend a lot of energy figuring out what you should do, then second-guessing your every action.  That's a terrible place to be -- and that's where Elaine found herself now. 

Where is the misery spot in your work life?  You probably have a few. Name one.  It could be:

•  a project that's out of control 
•  a process that's broken 
•  a peer relationship that's dysfunctional 

I'm betting that if you really analyzed the situation -- if you kept asking, "Where is the real problem here?" -- you'd probably discover that lack of communication was at the heart of it.  

Poor communication happens when somebody's not effectively saying something they need to say. And this blog, Remarkable Messaging, has a lot to say about saying.  

 The Uncertainty Solution

I sized up the situation as she spoke, then I shared with Elaine my suspicion that plain old poor communication practices were to blame.  The power players in her company were sending confusing signals. Whether they were doing it on purpose, or whether they were oblivious and didn't know any better, the impact was the same: it came across as disorienting, and even disheartening.  

The truth is, there is an emotional outcome to poor communication.  Uncertainty is not just uncomfortable and unproductive.  It makes us feel off-balance and insecure.  It raises our anxiety level, and triggers anger and fear. Uncertainty feels like abuse.  That's what makes it so crazy-making.  Before we even understand what's going on, we are casting ourselves in the victim role: either suffering in mute anguish, or simmering in silent fury.   

Then I told Elaine the good news.  She could change the dynamic.  She didn't have to stay passive and surrender her self-esteem.  She didn't have to be aggressive and go on the warpath, either. She could sail above the emotional turmoil, and win without firing a shot.  She just had to do three things: stay attentive, be assertive, and use what I lovingly call The Three Emails That Will Save Your Sanity.  

Oh, yeah, those.  They're why you're reading this post, right?  I'll get to Email # 1 in a minute.  But first, I want to underscore the importance of the first two parts of the Uncertainty Solution:

1. Stay attentive. For the Three Emails to work, you can't be late to the party.  You have to show up first, pay attention, and be a dynamic listener.  That means your radar is on full blast to follow every word and every nuance.  Hear every comment, and read every message.  Take notes.  Look up references.  Make the most of whatever communication comes your way, no matter how incomplete it is.  If you are a diligent and receptive listener, you will eliminate a lot of needless confusion and ensure that your Three Emails are only used as weapons of last resort.
2. Be assertive.  Hendrie Weisinger, in his breakthrough book Emotional Intelligence At Work, defines assertiveness as "the ability to stand up for your rights, opinions, ideas, beliefs, and desires while at the same time respecting those of others."  Maintaining an assertive posture, instead of a passive one or an aggressive one, is key.  To neutralize the emotional fallout of poor communication, you must bypass those feelings of victimization, remain respectful, and treat the situation objectively. Bear in mind: it's not about whose ego is bigger, who threatens who, who's smarter, or even who's right.  It's ONLY about what needs to happen to get the job done.  To figure that out, you have just as much right to an explanation as anyone else... and no one can fault you for taking assertive steps to obtain one. 

So are you staying attentive, and being assertive?  OK -- NOW you're ready to pull out   Email # 1. It is, simply put, a tool for resolving communications gaps.  Its structure will help you do it calmly, cleanly, and casually, so that you can get the information you need while remaining immune to emotional turmoil.  

Email # 1: Just To Confirm

"Just to confirm..." is the way you begin every Email # 1.  It's the email you send after every hurried phone call, hectic meeting or hotel lobby conversation -- basically, any time you have a significant verbal interchange.   

The objective of the Just To Confirm email is a request to nail down what was decided, so that everyone can avoid errors and optimize the outcome.  It summarizes what was said and requests confirmation.

You may be saying at this point, "That's all?  That's the big miracle cure?"  Yes.  The cure for fuzzy communication is focused communication.  Moreover, using Just To Confirm emails will start you on the path to fixing the bigger problem that's usually been causing the insanity -- a company communications culture that allows, and possibly even encourages, information gaps.  

But back to the email itself.  Since it is battling fuzzy communication, its structure is important. Brevity is critical. You will want to organize your message well, then slash it down to the basics.  Above all, the tone is always professional, neutral and collaborative.

Want to try out the concept?  Here's a template to follow.  The bold-font bracketed words explain the intended purpose behind each element:  

_______________

Sample Just To Confirm Email

Hi Pat, [breezy salutation that sets an informal tone]

Just to confirm, in our conversation this morning regarding the pigpen, we determined the following: [header sentence that defines the topic and sets expectations]

• The pigpen is broken.  Past pigpen repairs have proven to be partial only, perpetuating the problem. [define the issues]
• The pigs are at risk of getting out again.  We're also at risk of violating the state's Pigpen Provision and paying a Pigpen Penalty. [define the risks]
• Three loose pen panels need to be replaced. [define the need}
• This needs to happen by the end of the day.  [define the deadline]
• You'll call the panel people and schedule the replacement; I'll put the pigs in the penthouse this morning.  [action steps, with ownership -- now] 
• You'll pass along the replacement price to Peter; Peter will prepare to pay the panel people. [action steps, with ownership -- future]
• I'll ping you when the pigs are in the penthouse.  Also, I'm looping in Peter and Penny on this email so they know the plan; you'll report the progress to Pablo and Pasquale on the project call tomorrow. [communications plan]

Please let me know if you have any corrections or additions so I can note them before moving forward. [mutual accountability hook]

Thanks for your help as we plan for peak pig production. [closing paragraph that states a shared objective] 

-- Priscilla (from the Special Pigs Unit) [sender sign-off / role reinforcement as needed]

_________________

Your "Just To Confirm" emails may vary from the format above.  All of these elements aren't always needed. However, for complex issues, you very well may want to include every bullet point presented here.   

The Magic of Email # 1

A Just To Confirm email nails down decisions, prevents assumptions, and avoids misinterpretations.  Most importantly, it gives you an email trail to fall back on.  If your colleague goes rogue on everyone later on, and claims it was because you said to do x, not y, you can calmly pull out your Just To Confirm email to clear things up.   

Your Just To Confirm email makes it clear that everyone is being held accountable for the success of the project.  It's neutral, so it short-circuits turf wars and ego flare-ups.  It boils down the issue into small sound bites, so it's easy to understand. It's brief, so it's easy to respond to. 

Remember the misery spot you identified earlier?  Why not try out a Just To Confirm email this week to address its information gaps?  The next time you have a dialogue related to that particular topic, craft and send a Just To Confirm email. See if it helps you fill in the blanks and reduce the insanity.  If it does, leave a comment below to report your success!  

If you don't think your situation will be helped by this type of email, then watch for my next post which will showcase Email # 2 and Email # 3.  To be continued....

Till then, let me remind you once more: 

Don't be a passive victim of poor communication.  

Get the knowledge you need to succeed.

*I have changed Elaine's name in case her management team is reading this blog.  If you're a boss, ask yourself: might you have an Elaine or two in your organization?   If so, maybe you have to admit that your organization is communications-challenged. Good news: my favorite authority on organizational health, Pat Lencioni, has a book that is just for you.  It's called The Advantage.  Read it, and do it -- and the Elaines on your staff will never need to send you a Just To Confirm email! 

Diagnosing the Various Strains Of Business Flu

Watch out when a company talks about its "fast-paced business environment." That's often code for: "We're really toxic!" 

Corrosive corporate cultures have always existed, in big companies and small.  But they seem to have proliferated in the universal belt-tightening that started in 2008.  Add in the cynicism, hyper-competitiveness, and abandonment of traditional personal restraints that are hallmarks of today's society, and you've got the perfect Petri dish for producing sick companies. 

In response to this trend, another trend has surfaced: Corporate Values.  These are idealistic collections of terms such as Respect, Communication, and Initiative that are "adopted" by companies in their quest to stop the madness.  Yeah, how's that working for us?

Abstract concepts, however well presented,  do little to inoculate an organization against the rudeness, bullying and mayhem that occur all too naturally when companies plan poorly, train haphazardly, promote people who aren't ready, allow accountability gaps, and condone abusive management tactics.  

The result: I'm having more and more conversations with colleagues from all spheres of business about the toxicity they encounter at their jobs.  These are people from academia, big corporations, small businesses, and non-profits.  They all have seen the following  viruses take their toxic toll among their colleagues.

Are any of these five strains of Business Flu running rampant in your company?

• Flash Mob Decision Making.  In this general malaise, the most noticeable symptom is lack of clarity.  Agenda-less meetings, hard-to-follow conference calls, and random hallway conversations are the primary communications platforms for reaching wobbly consensus and assigning next steps.  Everyone walks away just a little lost and confused, but too scared to admit it.  Time and brainpower are wasted as people try to puzzle things out on their own, often making wrong assumptions that could have been avoided with clearer communication. 

• A Culture of Blame.  Forget root cause analysis. When things go wrong in this sick culture, people don't ask "What happened?" Instead, they demand, "Who let that happen?"  Feverish energy seems to be directed more toward accusing a person, not identifying and addressing the problem.  Ownership gets tossed around like a hot potato.  Since no one wants to be the fall guy, everyone becomes self-defense-oriented, not solution-oriented.  As a result, no foundation exists for collaborative teamwork -- which is often the key ingredient to resolving a systemic issue.  

• Getting It Done (as opposed to Doing It Right).  "Aggressive" project deadlines (read: unrealistic) are usually at the heart of this toxic strain.  A so-called Required Date Of Completion is assigned before the scope of work involved in a project is truly determined. To meet the demands of the time crunch, quality is sacrificed, shortcuts are taken, and superficial solutions are implemented.   Once it's implemented, the people who actually have to carry out the project need to invent emergency workarounds to make it look like the project has succeeded. Deeper problems are carried over to the next generation of the business model again and again, until they simply become part of the landscape.

• Silos and Turf Wars.  In this chronic strain of business flu, the company continually breaks out in a rash of angry, suspicious infighting.   Employees are not perceived as being all on one team.  Rather, they see themselves as divided into many teams. Players take sides depending on who they report to. In the phantom rule book of turf warfare, it's understood that departments will withhold information from each other and compete for resources instead of working together. Though never acknowledged openly, the whole organization's mission -- its foundation for being --  is infected by this polarizing process until it's eaten away by endless intrigue. Eventually, no one actually sees the big picture any more. The path back to restoring functional unity becomes lost in a labyrinth of secret info stashes and disconnected tunnels of mistrust.

• Big Kahuna Worship. Sickness in this type of toxic culture wears a mask of loyalty -- and loyalty is always being questioned.  A narcissistic leader calls the shots.  As a result, everyone who wants to stay on her good side must routinely throw themselves, or each other, under the bus.  The focus becomes getting into, and staying within, the leader's inner circle of safety. Running the business changes from a constructive pursuit to a cosmetic pursuit. Instead of "you're rewarded if you figure out good ways to make progress," the standard becomes "you're rewarded if you figure out how to make the Chief's flawed vision of progress look good."  If any innovations have a different goal than that, they are met with ridicule, and/or viewed as challenges to authority.  The leader's blind spots and dogmatic style are passed down through the layers of management, resulting in deep, debilitating detachment in the lower ranks.

Any of these sound familiar?  The truth is, all of these trends went viral long ago.  They have infected virtually every human project since the Pyramids. They bubble up whenever there's a clash of ego, resources, or territory.  

The history of mankind is, to put it simply, good ideas thwarted by bad management.  And your workplace is just as prone as any other place of business to catch the latest mutation of our age-old bug. 

Your Purell Against the Plague

If your workplace suffers from one or more of these strains of viral vindictiveness, you can either drink the corporate Kool-Aid and become a carrier, or develop intentional strategies to protect yourself from all the toxicity. Like the use of hand sanitizer in a hospital ward, it takes continuous vigilance and constant application to keep healthy in the midst of all the germs.  But it is possible.

Your defense, however you craft it for your particular needs,  must work on three fronts:  

• Keeping the vision  -- Defining your own identity apart from the madness, and consciously setting your own standards and boundaries to avoid infection.
• Processing the emotion -- Developing ways to deflect personal offenses, short circuit the feelings of victimization, and remain objective.
• Employing a practical action plan --  Going on the warpath with strategies that enable you to deliver impeccable performance, while you build bonds of trust within your toxic workplace.   

Personally, I have an approach to conquering corporate toxicity that works great for me. It incorporates all three of the above components. I call it Compassion-Based Communication.  I plan to write more about it in my next blog post, The Three Emails That Can Save Your Sanity, so watch for it!  In the meantime, leave a comment if you have another name for your own workplace's strain of the Business Flu -- or if you have a strategy that has helped you avoid getting infected.

The Power Of The Selfie: Forget Product Placement, Focus On Idea Placement

The Coca Cola Company and the ALS Foundation know something.  Do you know it, too?  

A picture is no longer worth a mere thousand words.  It's worth a a hundred thousand instant converts.    

That's the ingenuity behind the new Coke can that incorporates evocative words such as "Friend," or personal names, into the iconic Coke logo. 

By now, who hasn't seen an image come across their favorite social media venue with someone holding up one of these redesigned Coke cans?  The caption always reads something like:  "This one's for you, Ray/Julie/Larry/Mia/Boss/Star."  The new Coca Cola campaign is being turbo-boosted by willing accomplices who Like, Share and Comment on each others' photos of products, billboards, and light-up Times Square signage.

It's not product placement.  It's idea placement:

Coke = friendship.  

And Coke sales are surfing the wave of good feelings and goodwill. 

Brilliant.

So are the ubiquitous ice bucket challenges which have netted record donations for ALS research while they forge an indelible, good-natured connection between idiot pranks and idealism.  This time, the idea placement looks like this:

Ice buckets = altruism.

Or, another way to put it:

Imagine a world where no one gets Lou Gehrig's Disease... and where all your friends get hilariously soaked to their skin in freezing water, and it's caught on camera for posterity.  

Brilliant -- again.  

But this time, the brilliance wasn't born in a marketing meeting and driven by corporate ad spending.  Did you know?  The ALS Challenge started with one average do-gooder who only had a smart phone, an ice bucket, and an idea.

Once, only Big Marketing or Big Journalism could mount a campaign that influenced society this way. They alone had the power to plaster society with pictures that delivered  pointed punchlines.  And those required vast quantities of network television airwaves and magazine ads.

Network television?  Magazines?  Those are relics now -- they've practically gone the way of the town crier.  Now anyone with a flair for attention-getting can use his smart phone to send up a flare that catches the world's attention.

Social media is the new influencer.  What can this mean for you?

Ask yourself: 

• What's the core message I want to promote?  
• What's the basic belief I want to place in heads and hearts?
• What's the feel-good connection I want to create?

Load it into a seductive social media experience. Adopt the Coke Can Selfie approach to change attitudes.  Repair reputations. Raise awareness.  Raise money.  Spark a mania. 

If you can make your idea visual, you can make your idea viral. 

So now, about the mechanics. How do you persuade people to offer themselves as your poster children? 

• Give them a glamorous or striking object to pose with: a mansion, a classic car, a celebrity look-alike.
• Dress them up in your colors or your clothing line.  
• Stage a carnival-style game so they can take pictures of themselves winning. 
• Invite them to feed each other a free sample of your food product, on camera, in front of your eating establishment.
• Offer them a prize to dance to your theme song.
• Pose them with an funny oversize prop, a fistful of fake money, or cute animals.
• Hold a team event, give players a team shirt with your message on it, and take action shots.  
• Use a photogenic stunt to embody your idea.  Hula hoop performances, cup-stacking challenges, toilet paper mummy-wrapping, and shopping cart races come to mind.

You get the concept.  Try it.  

Give your target audience a story, and a stage to play it out, and they just might "selfie" your message out to all their friends.  

All it takes is an average person -- you -- a compelling message -- and an interesting image.  

What idea placement will you instigate? And how will it alter your life? 

Messaging for Martyrs

A note from Beth: this is a special post with a special message.  Please read and share.

The character shown here is the Arabic letter N.  It is a beautiful letter, from a beautiful alphabet.  Unfortunately, at the very moment this post is being written, it is being used in Iraq to target Christians for persecution as followers of the "Nazarene" (another name for Jesus).  

Does this remind anyone else of the way that little yellow stars were once used to mark Jews for destruction?

If you have the liberty to read this blog -- and my reporting shows that people read it from all over the world -- then please pardon my blatant plagiarism here.  I have never reprinted an entire news article in this blog before, but I do so for a reason.  I want all my readers who value freedom of speech to know about the persecution of Christians in Iraq.  Don't just take my word for it.  Read on and imagine how it would be if this was happening to you, simply because of what you believed.  These people have done nothing wrong.  They are modern martyrs, and this is the new century's holocaust.  

Also, as an advocate of remarkable messaging, I can't help but pose a question: 

What message does it send when, in order to honor your own religion, you are required to repress others' free speech, and even torture and kill those with different beliefs than your own?  

I'll tell you two messages that it sends to intelligent human beings: 

1.  A religion that does this must belong to darkness, not light. 

2.  It must be an especially weak religion if it can't stand on its own merit, but needs to be sustained by atrocity and savagery.

But those are my opinions. I am not forcing them on you. I believe in free speech.  No, more than that, I believe that "the truth will set you free."  (By the way, that quote comes from none other than the Nazarene himself.)  So read on and come to your own conclusions -- then please, use your own power of free speech to speak up for those who are not permitted to have a voice.

- - - - - - - 

 Reprinted From U S NEWS  / MOUNT ALFAF, Iraq — A little more than a decade ago, Mosul was home to 60,000 Christians who practiced their religion in the midst of their Muslim neighbors in Iraq's second-largest city.

No more. Earlier this month, Muslim extremists who had captured the city ordered all Christians to convert to Islam, pay a tax or face execution. They later revoked the tax as an option.

The result has been a mass exodus of Christians to the semi-autonomous region of Kurdistan and laments that only Muslims are tolerated in the city today.

"It is no longer possible for Christians to live in Iraq," said the wife of Raad Ghanem, one of 250 Christians who fled to the picturesque Mar Mattai Monastery atop this mountain, 12 miles from Mosul.

Ghanem's wife, who did not want her name used because she worries about her safety, said that when she showed up one day at the hospital where she had worked for 30 years, she was told she wasn't welcome anymore. "They told me I couldn't work there because I am Christian," she said. "I told them that I am from Mosul, that this is my home."

To underscore that she and other Christians should not return, fighters from the al-Qaeda splinter group now known as the Islamic State, last week blew up a tomb believed to be the burial place of the biblical prophet Jonah, who survived in a whale's belly.

On Monday, France's interior and foreign ministers offered asylum to the fleeing Christians, who still have hope of remaining in their homeland.

Sipping tea at the monastery here, they recounted their frightening ordeal the night they were forced to flee. "The houses of Christians were specially marked with the Arabic letter "N," meaning Christian," said Nadia Nafik Ishaq, a woman with a broken leg.

"It was written that they were the property of the Islamic State. After that, all the properties were robbed. All our things were taken. What is the solution? How long will we have to be here?" Ishaq said.

"When we left in the middle of the night, we were stripped of everything. Money, wallets, jewelry, ID, passports, watches, everything," Raad Ghanem said. "At the Daesh checkpoint on the way out of the city, my wife was even stripped of her earrings. They took everything of value we had."

"They changed our church into a mosque, ruined historic museums and destroyed a monastery and manuscripts that were 1,000 years old. Iraq is gone. Iraq is finished. We're finished. It's impossible for us to go back," he said.

In a small bedroom on the second level of the monastery, a disabled woman was stretched out uncomfortably with her wheelchair beside her as her sister described how they were among the last Christian families to flee the city.

"It was illegal for us to leave the house, so we knew it wasn't going to end well," Ikram Hama said. "Luckily a Christian soldier helped us, and we escaped late at night with just the clothes on our back."

"Sick people, disabled people, poor people were all forced to leave. They killed my cousin after they looked at his ID," she continued. "We have no money and my sister has a disability. There is no doctor here and no hospitals close by. We are in a bad situation. For us, Iraq is over."

Twenty miles southeast of Mosul, the city of Qaraqosh has become a hub for Christians who fled the Islamic State fighters. But even it is unsafe. Although it is protected by Kurdish fighters, Islamist militants clashed with soldiers there in June, forcing thousands of Christians to flee to safer ground.

In an unfurnished townhouse still under construction on the outskirts of Qaraqosh, two families sat on the floor as they discussed the future of Iraq.

"I want to be a Christian but IS (Islamic State) took us to the mosque and tried to convert us to Islam," said Flora Adwa, a mother of three.

She said the owner of the townhouse had allowed the two families to temporarily stay at the home.

"We gave them all our money, but then they took our car and our house," she explained. "They told us that with the money we gave them we could go anywhere but Mosul. We cannot return. We are finished. What is our future?"

Perfectionism

Everyone feels the pressure to live up to others' expectations.  Some of us take it to the next level.  We battle the need to live up to our own impossibly high standards.  For us, "good enough" is never good enough.  

This poem has been a way for me to  answer back those paralyzing feelings and allow myself to celebrate my less-than-perfect performance.  

                  Perfectionism

Always before, some neat tragedy,

Some excuse to pin my failure on.

Some reason not to be made at me:

  Some situation,

  Some attack upon my heart!

Now, nothing.

Nothing's wrong out there,

So why am I so wrong inside --

Tell me, where do I start?

Whoever said that I had to be

"Star Performer"  "Perfect Acrobat" --

Balancing 

     Life 

Automatically:

  Toss the balls,

  Suspend them,

  Catch them in my hat!

They're dropping.

On my spotlit stage

My bright pretensions roll away

As the juggler falls flat.

What do you hear when all the harshest words are spoken,

Then you replay the tape,

and they're said in your own voice?

How do you fix the need to fix what isn't broken?

How do you choose to live,

When you think you have no choice?

God never gave me a guarantee

That I'd always please my audience.

He made the world, then He added me:

   So there must be 

   Some 

   Significance

   I bring...

To something. 

Why deny that I 

Can fly on my imperfect wings?

I can sigh, 

yet still sing.

But I will sing to sing, and not to hear some crowd applaud;

Live, not to prove my worth, but to see my worth applied.

Just as it says: 

"Humble yourself under the hand of God,

And He will lift you up when He knows the time is right."